Predictably Unpredictable

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Welcome to you all, if you don’t already know me, my name is Pam, I am the founder and CEO of Pam Poole Self-Discovery coaching. If you would like to know more about me my website is www.pampoole.co.nz I specialise in Self-Discovery coaching for woman, because I know how easy it is for woman to lose themselves, to forget what they like and enjoy, because we are socialised to put others needs wants and needs first. However, this socialisation results in us living inauthentically and because we are the one common denominator in our life, our life feels inauthentic as we impact and influence every situation, circumstance, person, interaction.

My own journey has emphasised to me how getting to know myself has been the key, literally the solution to everything I thought was wrong with me and my life. 

If you are a woman who wants to wake up looking forward to their life, and the day, rather than wanting something different, this podcast is for you and a great place to begin. 

Today’s podcast is called   “Predictably unpredictable.”

One thing we can really rely on in life is change, it will happen whether we want it to or not.  Others and life and sometimes ourselves can be very unpredictable.

As destabilising and anxiety inducing as change feels, especially unpredicted change, we can chose adaptability and response-able rather than defensiveness and reactiveness if we know ourselves well enough to be able to trust how we will respond and decide what we will do.

“Predictably unpredictable” is a figure of speech that suggests that while something may appear unpredictable on the surface it actually follows a pattern than can be anticipated in some way. I think this is true for each of us.

It is often used to describe situations or behaviours that seem random but have underlying consistency. As an example, the stock market is “predictably unpredictable” because it experiences fluctuations and unexpected events, but experts may still identify certain trends or factors that influence changes.

On the outside we may seem unpredictable to others, just as they may seem unpredictable to us depending on our relationship with them and how long we have known them, or how well we know them.

So, some people may seem fairly predictable to us because we know what might upset them, or what would make them smile. They could still surprise us from time to time but for the most part they respond as expected.  This allows us to feel comfortable when we are with them.

However, how many of us are truly comfortable with ourselves, within ourselves. This is because we haven’t taken the time to really get to know ourselves, to have a level of self-awareness, and understanding that allows us to feel confident and trust that we will respond in a way that best supports and help us. 

Most of us look outside ourselves for comfort, for stability, for predictability which isn’t helpful because we rarely have any control over things outside of us.  We do however, if we choose to, always have control over our choices and responses.

When there is a certain level of consistency and predictability in a relationship, we feel comfortable. This includes in the relationship with ourselves.  We can tolerate some inconsistency or unpredictability but to feel comfortable we need to be able to predict we can trust ourselves.

To get to a “predictably unpredictable” space we require significant exposure and experience within the environment and/or relationship that we want to be comfortable in. We need to have spent enough time watching, observing, asking questions, experimenting, participating etc to gain the knowledge that leads to this type of predictability.

As in my example of the stock market, it takes experts in that field to be able to see the predictability (patterns, consistencies & trends).  They became experts through exposure to that.

In my own life until I understood how my past trauma impacted or affected me, I often felt anxious because I was never sure what would trigger what, it felt unpredictable.

Now that I do understand and have insight, knowledge, experience and awareness of triggers, patterns etc so it is no longer unpredictable at all.  In fact, I can easily predict or anticipate and allow for the impacts now, I can identify factors that influence changes and my response and the unpredictable has become very predictable and easily navigated to the point where I am comfortable. I know and trust my response to the unpredictable.

So, for us to be able to predict our own future, we need to become experts on ourselves. We need to identify our patterns, trends, or consistencies. Observe them, see if they are helpful, because if they haven’t got you the results you want in your life so far then you might want to change something.

When challenges come up it is important that we have installed and practiced thought patterns and response consistency to a level that supports us automatically navigating the challenges in a way that allows the future we have predicated for ourselves to remain intact. To keep the odds in our favour, to minimise and negate the effect any challenges have on our goals and future.

Creating an internal predictability that our future self will thank us for is easier done through quality conversation with a qualified Life Coach or other professional. 

There are so many ways/options that we can look at to get the support we all need as we develop and improve the relationship with ourselves so that we can improve everything and every other relationship we have, it is up to you just keep looking and trying till you find the right fit for you.

For me an unbiased sounding board, skilful conversation and a safe confidential space has been an essential piece, so try it, who knows it might just change your life.

If you would like to know more about this or any other topic my website is www.pampoole.co.nz, I would love for you to go and have a look and book a free no obligation enquiry call so we can chat in person.

Thanks for listening, have a great week and we’ll chat again next week, & remember the relationship with yourself matters.

Bye for now.😊