Hi, I’m Pam, a Certified Life Coach, I help women navigate the “messy middle” figure “it” out, live their best life, stress less and discover what's next. To move through the ups and downs of life & significant change with more ease.
A messy middle shake up is something everyone gets to experience.
If you're between 30 and 60 and your feeling overwhelmed, confusion, and self-doubt more often than you usually would, chances are you have entered the messy middle or some other significant change.
You may have noticed you are more reflective and questioning yourself, your relationships and your life choices in a way you have never done before.
You may have noticed a desire for change or adventure or a sense of urgency.
It is these very things that fills the messy middle with uncertainty, self-doubt and anxiety, the future feels unpredictable and unknown.
If you would like to move through the messy middle with more ease, with more grace and with intention that sets you up to experience this next stage or phase to maximise enjoyment, relationships, fun and growth then let’s talk.
You might notice yourself having thoughts like, “I don’t understand”, “I never used to”, or some other statement that fuels the fear, the unknown, self-doubt and uncertainty, I understand, and I can help, this time of our life can be one of the most intensely rewarding, growth fueled times we will ever experience.
You can use it to get to know yourself, to change, to clarify, confirm, to build closer relationships and more connection than you ever thought was possible, but it can be tougher than it needs to be when we try and go it alone, fumble around in the dark, trying to figure it out.
I’ve fumbled, done it the hard way, taken a longer route than I needed I experienced unnecessary suffering because of it, I am passionate about helping women to move through the messy middle with more ease.
I can help you understand what is happening to you, feel less stressed, use the sense of urgency that comes into our life during this time to gain perspective and clarity.
You will gain clarity, find a renewed sense of purpose, feel more in charge and more like yourself again within just a couple of sessions and its onwards and upwards from there.
If you find this hard to believe, I get it, I am available to talk with you about what’s happening to you, just click the “Let’s talk” link below.
Going through the messy middle and other significant changes or challenges often activates reflection and stress as we humans consider aging, menopause, mortality, our purpose, and many other big questions.
Big or significant questions can trigger high levels of internal conflict, and uncertainty, a sense of not really “knowing ourselves” or feeling a bit lost can creep in.
This is for you…
If you are at a place in your life where you are feeling like everything is changing and thinking thought’s like “I just want to enjoy my life”, “there has got to be more to life”, or an underlying sense of urgency has entered your life, or a sense of something is missing or lacking nags at you.
If you have noticed brain fog and confusion, an inability to think straight, and that making decisions fills you with anxiety that you didn’t use to have.
If you can relate to any of this or are feeling a loss of direction or a crisis of confidence I can help.
If this is you, I know it doesn’t feel good, you wouldn’t choose to feel this way for all the money in the world, but I promise you, this is normal and with a little help can be one of the most rewarding times of your life.
I have been where you are, and I know this will be hard to believe but everything is ok, nothing has gone wrong.
Would you like to choose how to use normal challenging times in life as a chance to rediscover your passions, and purpose, to build closer connections and have more fulfilling experiences, to stress less & enjoy life more!
A little bit about me
I had just had my 50th birthday, although in hindsight I suspect perimenopause started about 5 years earlier, I was moving house after 12 years, changing my work location from Christchurch to Rolleston, a lot of change.
I struggled to think straight, felt more anxious than normal, despite all of that I dismissed and ignored myself, my feelings, as “it just stress”, told myself to pull myself together. I worked in a high-pressured job at that time for the Department of Corrections that was so full on I was able to ignore myself, but my stress level was through the roof, I had never been taught to manage it, how to reduce it, or the contribution my thoughts and beliefs had to it. So, I ignored it all, of course I know now what was happening.
I felt this sense of urgency that I had never had before, felt unhappy, irritable, not my usual self. I felt different, and I didn’t like it, and yet externally everything was the same.
One of my strengths is taking action, always a self-help geek, I started reading, searching google. The searches offered depression, therapy, meditation etc. my doctor suggested I could try anti-depressants and see if that helped.
Finally, I came across Life Coaching and began engaging in life coaching on a weekly basis and then found a prestigious US based Life Coach School. Of course, each person is different and there is a lot more to my story, but this was life changing for me, and the beginning of a new chapter.
Sarah B says: “I know that the help that you have given me has prevented me from being overwhelmed by some of the issues and able to keep a more healthy perspective. I feel so much more confident about making decisions that allow me to acknowledge my own needs as well as those of others.
Kourtney S says: “Although I found much of our sessions very confronting, I can confidently say I gained so much from our discussions. Your advice and tools have continued to be repeated in my mind in various situations since and have been very useful. I feel like I am in a better mental and emotional space at work, and you helped me to realise my worth in my role. I also am putting more emphasis on myself and spending more time with my family, focusing on quality time with my kids.”
Janene P says: “You’ve made such a difference, Pam, although the same stuff is happening at home, I am dealing with it much better. So helpful, Thanks a million.”
Kate R: Thank you so much!
“Working with you changed my life. I was grieving the loss of my dad and burnt out from a job I loved all while starting my own business. It was a busy time and from the moment I met you, I knew there was a way forward through a difficult time.
You helped me to find the solutions to problems as they arose, as well as advising me on long standing issues. I was able to dive deeper into who I am as a person, what I value and recognise patterns I wanted to break through and managed due to your support.
I highly recommend you to everyone, having coaching with you was life changing it was like having a counsellor, best friend, confidant and wise owl all in one!"
Dyane Y says: “What I have spent years trying to figure out on my own and with counsellors you have helped me figure out in just 2 weeks, it’s amazing”.
Dallas H says: “Pam thank you for all the support, understanding and time you have given me to discuss whatever I feel is the highest priority on my list. I appreciate how you guide me to my own conclusions and the patience you show when teaching and reinforcing skills that nurture my mindset and thought processes into a more positive, healthy and helpful relationship with myself.