The Power of “AND”

We often think that something is one or the other, either/or, but over time I have discovered that most things in life are blended or alongside.  You have probably heard the expression that the world is more grey than black or white.  I never really liked the idea of the world being grey and I didn’t realise as a child that black AND white creates the grey, so I was inclined to be a bit black or white.  However, as an adult you realise pretty quick that most things, including us are rarely black or white. 

In my view there is very little in this world that is grey let alone black or white.  Most things are multiple colours. There is something to the saying that variety is the spice of life and speaking for myself black or white doesn’t hold my interest for long.

I used to think that grey was complicated and that black or white was easier, I know my brain likes to tell me that.  The truth I discovered is quite the opposite, because when we think in terms of black and white our understanding is very limited and from that limited mindset it is difficult to keep trying and to succeed.

Let me give you an example, most of us think that if we are tense that we are not relaxed but the truth is we can be tense and relaxed at the same time.  About now I suspect you are all feeling a little resistant at this suggestion and not that long ago I would have felt the same.  However, I have learnt that I can feel opposing feelings and states simultaneously. 

You have probably all experienced someone who appears relaxed and easy going only to find as you get to know them better, that it’s not true as they tell you they always feel quite anxious.  Horses are the same they can appear physically relaxed and yet be mentally tense, they can do what you have trained them to do and be “shut down” emotionally.

You might think this makes things more complicated, but I promise you it doesn’t, because once you realise you can feel fear and determination or feel committed and anxious you are free to choose which feeling to take action from and you are free from thinking you have to get rid of the fear or anxiety.

Even more incredible is that when you get to experience this as the truth of it, paradoxically the fear and anxiety dissipate without you actively having to do anything to get rid of it.  You just tune into to the feeling that best supports the result you want.

This is how the human brain and body works together.  So, if you know what you want to feel, ask yourself what would I need to think that is believable to me right now, that will get me to that feeling or close to it?

The beauty of this knowledge is that you don’t have to be with your horse to begin learning or practising managing your mind.  You can do it while you sit in the comfort of your home or during lunch breaks at work.