Confusion & why I welcome it.

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Hello and welcome everybody.

I'm looking forward to chatting to you today about confusion, but just in case you don't know me, I'm Pam. I'm the founder and CEO of Pam Poole Self Discovery Coaching. And if you would like to know more about me and what I offer you can go to www.pampoole.co.nz.

Alright. So, I'm guessing that a few of you are probably thinking, I am a bit crazy when I say I welcome confusion. And I completely understand why you might think that. After all, confusion is not exactly a pleasant experience for our minds or our bodies.

Sensationally, the energy of confusion is actually quite disturbing and a bit disorientating, usually.  When you actually look up the definition of confusion, it actually says “the state of being bewildered or unclear in one's mind about something.”  I love this definition for confusing because when I experience confusion for myself, that is exactly what it is. It is always in response to my receiving information, that doesn't fit what I already know or directly conflicts with what I think I know.

Confusion is an experience that most of us, particularly if it's quite a strong experience, most of us would say it's a bit debilitating or scary. I certainly used to feel that way about it, but honestly, I genuinely do welcome it now, because when I experience confusion, I know it means that I am questioning something I currently believe is true, and that means I'm about to get to know myself better. It's an opportunity to choose to think and feel in a way that is more authentic for me. By authentic I mean it originates with me. It is my own thought, my own feelings. It is not learned or taken on through socialization or through childhood.

When we have a belief about someone or something, especially about ourselves, that doesn't seem to match even slightly what we currently think, or that is so new to us, that there is nothing to align it with, our brain literally doesn't know what to do with it.

When that happens, you can... liken it to roadworks with a detour sign. When a thought or information has been with us for a long time, the existing pathways in our brain are well built and they have no potholes because they've all been fixed over time. As we get new information, if it is completely new or in conflict with what we know, then we might start to get the odd pothole that needs repair work. It's no big deal and it's still usable.

However, if that pathway has a major disruption, we are required to stop and fully rebuild it, and in the meantime, we need to take a detour. Now, because we have not previously used the detour, we become uncertain or disorientated. and we need to move at a much slower space. If we accept that this is just the way of it, you know, it's a new way of traveling, and if we want to get to where we want to go, we need to figure it out, then the more you take it, the easier it gets until you now have a detour, (more information). The original pathway is either repaired and integrate it or it's closed down. Okay.

Now the detour itself can be straightforward or it can take many twists and turns. It can add significant time or very little extra time to the journey. It doesn't matter because at the end of the day the result is always the same. You get to your destination and once repaired, the pathway is more robust, it's better built than ever. It's newer, it's updated, more modern and user friendly. And usually, it supports improved connection to other destinations or in human reference, it improves connection with other people.

This is the experience of confusion and as unpleasant as it can be, I welcome it because I know that it means I'm questioning old, learned thoughts, behaviours, patterns, or information and if I give myself some time and space, I will figure it out.

I find it helpful at these times to acknowledge what it is I'm questioning, and to look at what my current information is, what is the new information I'm considering. I like to ask myself which one feels truer or more right to me, or if the truth actually lies somewhere in the middle, or maybe it's neither.

Either way, the result is, is I'm much clearer about what I do think and why and most importantly it's not because I learned it from someone else, it's because I gave myself the opportunity to decide for myself.

So, if you're experiencing confusion, embrace it. This is great news. You are about to become more authentically you.

Alright my friends.

As always, I love sharing my thoughts with you all, and if you're interested, I have a podcast over on Spotify called Living Your Dream. My website is www.pampoole.co.nz and if you haven't already, join my friends email list and get friends only content and be the first to know what's happening.

Thanks for listening and I'll see you next week. Bye for now. 😊