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Welcome to you all, if you don’t already know me, my name is Pam, I am the founder and CEO of Pam Poole Self-Discovery coaching. My website is www.pampoole.co.nz I specialise in Self-Discovery coaching for woman, because I know how easy it is for woman to lose themselves, to forget what they like and enjoy, because we are socialised to put others wants and needs first. However, this socialisation results in us living inauthentically.

My own journey has emphasised to me how getting to know the human experience and how it relates to us is the key, literally the solution to everything we think is wrong with ourselves and our life. 

I provide Life Coaching and Equine Assisted Well-being services for people who are looking to live more authentically.

One of the key things I think that we get out of any kind of interaction, coaching, therapy, counselling, whatever it is anybody decides to engage in for the improvement of their wellbeing and life, is that through that process we learn skills that we can use for ourselves, skills to coach ourselves or to our own therapist or counsellor, you know, skills that allow us to genuinely help ourselves whenever we need it, skills that provide us with internal resources that we have access to 24/7.

One of the skills I think probably all of these particular modalities have in common is that we are skilled in asking quality questions and through that you learn how to ask much better questions of yourself.

This so important because we can't always believe what we think. Because the bulk of what we think we have learnt and we never ask ourselves if this thought is really true. We've just believed it because people, of course people we love, and trust have offered it to us.

Some of my favourite questions are often sound like, what am I really thinking right now or what am I trying to avoid, because you know I have people pleasing in my history I've got some wonderful skills in that area. I will often try and avoid, I guess, looking at a problem if I think that in doing that, I might have to make a decision that might lead to conflict or displeasure from another person. I have to watch out for that one in my own life to ensure that I am not making decisions at the expense of future myself.

Some other questions that I think are really helpful is what am I trying to convince myself of here? You know, why is my brain wanting to offer me these thoughts right now? I find that one particularly useful. I mean there are so many questions that we can ask ourselves that are so much more helpful than the judgments and the statements that most of us are taught to offer ourselves.

This is so important, particularly when we're feeling, you know, a bit of low mood or self-doubt or uncertainty, all of those feelings that we just go around trying not to feel.

Today I wanted to let you know that when you go looking for help because you want to improve your own life and feel better in your experience your life that it means you are weak or lacking in some way.  Humans are not meant to go through life solo, like horses we are social, herd animals, horses know how to be independent within relationships, to seek support from each other but to take their own action. That support does not equal giving away responsibility.

Horses can show us how to be there for each other without taking responsibility for each other. In the right space with a trained professional, you absolutely get all of that help and support, but you also get the freedom of not having to consider anyone else and so much more.

I suspect if we had all been given this as we were growing up, most of us would probably be experiencing a much more satisfying life and certainly much improved well-being.

I wanted to share that with you today, because every day I come across so many individuals whose lives are “okay” they are functioning, getting things done, but they don’t really enjoy the experience of living.

Most of us don’t take the action of caring for our emotional and mental wellbeing as a day-to-day priority, as a habit that is worth creating, until it impacts our ability to work or function in some other way, yet no one thinks twice about going to the gym or doing other physical activities, including managing their diet to look after their physical wellbeing.

Whether it's counselling, life coaching, therapy, psychologists, to me, that's just a mental gym. It's just a way to keep ourselves as a whole being in top condition.

If we don't know ourselves, if we don't know what matters to ourselves, if we don't care enough about ourselves to actively seek and support our whole being, then it's just not something that we're going to bring to the table as part of our contribution when we're in relationship with others.

Of course, I learnt this the hard way, I wish someone had told me this, so this is very important to me and I hope, I really hope that if you're listening to this and you haven't done it already that you see the value of having a relationship with yourself that looks after every part of your well-being and consider that it might be worth you taking the time and making the effort to make that a priority.

Thanks again for listening, I appreciate it. Have a great week and take the time to ask yourself a question now and then.

Alright my friends have a great weekend because it's Friday where I am, and I will see you next week. Bye for now. 😊

If you would like to know more about this or any other topic my website is www.pampoole.co.nz, I would love for you to go and have a look and book a free no obligation enquiry call so we can chat in person.