Every morning I get up I take a small amount of time to sit down and have a look at my day and my thoughts about it. I often notice there are more unhelpful thoughts than helpful and honestly I think that is partly the human DNA and my immediate family DNA. I have a tendency to look for trouble and problems and if I am not intentionally supervising my thoughts I don’t question or balance them out with the things happening in my day that I expect to go smoothly or that I do as a matter of course and get a lot of pleasure from, like playing with my young dog “Patch” and without that intentional process I can find myself not really looking forward to my day which is not a great place to start any day from.

This morning as I was doing this I thought about how much my thinking had changed over the years and all the self-limiting thoughts that I used to have, the ones I have swapped for more helpful and equally true thoughts. All the more helpful automatic thoughts I have replaced them with. It really has changed the way I experience every part of my life.

I decided to have a quick look on google to see what came up about limiting self-thoughts and this quote came up and I recognised it from a book I purchase about 25 years ago now. I understand it so much better now that I have experienced the truth of it in my own life. I decided to share it with you and share my knowledge and view about the subject of limiting self-thoughts.

"We learn our belief systems as very little children, and then we move through life creating experiences to match our beliefs. Look back in your own life and notice how often you have gone through the same experience." –Louise L. Hay

How do we begin to uncover what might be an unhelpful limiting self-thought? We begin by looking at our life and asking ourselves some questions. As an example you could ask yourself “what results do I have in my life that aren’t really what I want?” Note down anything you say to yourself to justify or explain why it is working, or why it happened, is likely a limiting belief/thought. These thoughts will feel true to you, they will feel reasonable and valid and you will be able to provide plenty of evidence to support it.

The problem is that it is still a thought that is getting in the way of what you want, so you can either give up on getting the result you want or you can consider swapping the limiting thought for a more helpful one.

The other way we know that a limiting self-thought is in play is when we have mastered the art of “positive self-talk” but when we use positive self-talk it doesn’t change how we are feeling, so despite the positive self-talk we continue to experience the same level of anxiety, or anger.

Once you uncover what you think could be a limiting self-thought, Step 1 is writing it down, Step 2 is remind yourself it is just “a thought” and not “the truth”, this can activate automatic resistance because it feels true (if you read last week’s blog it will help you understand why). This is where you get to decide if you want to defend this thought that is getting in the way of you achieving what you want or genuinely considered if there is a more helpful, equally true thought you could choose.

There is a quote by Evelyn Waugh “When we argue for our limitations, we get to keep them”.

Step 3 is about trying on new thoughts, use your imagination, ask yourself how would I feel and what would I do differently if I believed this new thought?

Step 4 is about taking action from that new thought, it will feel scary but this is where “acting as if can be helpful”. So, acting as if the new thought is true. As an example: “If you believed you were the kind of person who looks good in blue clothes, what clothes would you most like buy”. If you start by taking even the smallest step you will begin breaking down the hold the old unhelpful belief has on you and begin replacing it with a more helpful thought process.

When we begin this type of work we can trip ourselves up by expecting ourselves to “do it better” this approach will send you back into old thought patterns. Remember don’t aim for perfect aim for B+ work and congratulate yourself for heading in the right direction.

Part of the preparation for this work is expecting your brain to offer you thoughts that will stop you, because we are hard wired to avoid discomfort and this kind of work is outside of everybody’s comfort zone. So, be prepared to get uncomfortable, stay within your window of tolerance (a blog for another day) and know that a small step every day takes you a long way.

If you would like to know more you can go to my website www.pampoole.co.nz and join my email list or if you haven’t already taken advantage of it, book a free, no obligation enquiry call by clicking on the link below.

I appreciate you all, thanks for reading, and have a great week. :)